Some Mommy Rantings

So today, I was sitting here watching the girls play with their barbies and listening to their dialog, and all I can say is wow I need to learn twin. LOL.

On another side note, as a mother, or even father have you ever felt the desire to lead your children by example? I always do, I want my children to do as I say and do. The dilemma I have is that I am currently a stay at home mommy and part time worker for Casey's General store. Now there is NOTHING wrong with either of those, but my dilemma is as follows; I want them to have careers and contribute to society in a good work ethic way. Is this what was ingrained in me when growing up, that is causing this perceived dilemma? Is it because growing up I heard go to college and become somebody that I doubt myself as an example leader for my children. I do think this plays a role, and I hate how it makes me feel. I want my girls to be happy no matter if they are homemakers or lawyers. I never once said growing up I want to be a stay at home mommy, I wanted to be a mommy and many other things on top of it. These constraints are what causes women to choose children or careers. I want both, and I want to find the balance to do both. So I have that conflict to add to my dilemma. Do I let someone else 'raise' my kids in a daycare and get a full time career or just work part time jobs and never feel fulfilled myself? Many women face this dilemma everyday, but men don't seem to have as much of a dilemma. Why is that? Is it because as a society we say men and women are equals, but women are seen as the main 'homemaker', and men as the main 'bread winner'. Our society has tried to get away from those 'old time values' yet we still implement the martial and parental system. Can a mother be the bread winner and the father the homemaker...YES! I am blessed to have a husband who is willing to do the childcare running in the event I get a job in my desired career path. He does laundry, dishes and takes care of our kids when I work, and I do the same while he works. We have a true 50/50 relationship. So when I say I have a dilemma, it was for suspenseful intentions... I chose to stay home and raise our children so they felt love and security, and would follow my example in being caring and learning to put your needs aside for the ones you love, but now they are the ages they need the social interaction of daycare and school and I am ready to follow another path to show them that as girls, and women we can have both options. I am pursuing my career in the social work field. Do I know if I got the job yet? No I don't know, but I applied and put myself out there.

My next rant is homeschooling. I am not for nor against it. What bothers me is when people blame schools for the lack of education. Educators, teachers, etc can only do so much in a school day. We as parents must stay involved in our children's education to make sure they understand what they are learning and completing their work. Too many times I have heard, my child is failing such and such, and I ask why, I get the response I don't know, well duh, did you talk to the teacher, did you ask your kid, hell did you even make sure they did their homework. Now don't take this as ill intended. I am just saying it is our responsibility to make sure our kids are doing okay! Not the teachers, we need to be involved, and if that is the reason to or not to home school then fine. I personally feel the benefit from learning in a class environment will teach our children in more ways than one specifically. I am not against homeschooling, but I am for schooling be it public, private or religious. In either instance we as parents need to make sure we keep involved and not expect others to raise our kids or to teach them morals and ethics, that is our job! When you became a parent your job description read as follows...

You will revoke all rights to having alone time, or personal life not dedicated to your children...to provide love, encouragement, shelter, food, and ANY OTHER DUTIES AS NEEDED!...
IE be involved in your child's life, we need to slow down and remember they are watching us, they are absorbing everything and they need us to show them the right ways to live. Be it with morals, or conflict resolution, or being involved in every single piece of their life!

God Bless and take care... This is just some of my rantings...no feelings bared and I am not going to apologize if you are offended, because as a mother I do what is best for my kids and you should all do what is best for yours! Please remember I respect your opinions and I hope you respect mine.

Saving the Family Money

Okay, so we are doing that whole Dave Ramsey thing, and I have been a coupon clipper for years. Now is when I am trying to combine them with price matching and getting in store coupons. LET ME TELL YOU ITS AWESOME! This week I did this for the first time whole heartedly and I saved $95...I price matched and coupon clipped and went to different stores. It was so exciting!

How do I explain being a mom?!

I got an email from a sorority sister about being pregnant, and she is the type of person who loves to be well informed, and it makes her a great person. This email wanted to see what was needed for her bundle of joy she is expecting. I know she has a ton of questions and I felt honored for her to email me regarding this. BUT where do I start, where do you begin to tell someone the joys and pains of something that is so ingrained in you its in your core and soul?

I started with the basics of what baby will need, like diapers, burp rags, wipes, etc. Then I was stuck. I love being a mom and it is the major part of who I am. I love it so much I would have 10 more kids to shower them with my love, but how do I convey what its like to a soon to be new mom?

There are times my house isn't clean (all the time) and you have to climb over toys to get down the hall, but how can I ask my kids to stop playing and clean them up when I have so much joy just watching them play and use their imaginations. How do I get up when we all are cuddling watching a Disney movie to do boring dishes. How do I force myself to stop smiling when they push each other around in the empty toy bin when I did ask them to pick up. I can't, and I won't.

Children grow so fast and before you know it that little infant you held in your arms is almost 5 years old. Where did the time fly? Why waste that time on cleaning when you can play and watch and take pictures of them to build those memories.

We are in a society now that thrives on the go go attitude and we forget to just slow down and cherish the small things. We forget what our grandparents said about taking life one day at a time. We are in such a rush to grow up and be rich and famous we forget to enjoy the little things. I don't want that for my girls. I want them to have a wonderful childhood full of memories and stories they tell their kids. Life isn't about being rich and having a perfect home and tons of fancy stuff, its about having fun, building memories that will stay with you forever. If being a mom means I clean during nap or when they are in bed and play with them when they are up, then that is what it means. I wish we could all just slow down sometimes, and cherish what is right there in front of us, our children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews.

Being a mom is something different for each new or experienced mom, and you can't really explain what it is. Its something that comes from within and just grows inside you to the point that all you know is that feeling of being a mom. By all means it isn't an easy job, its time consuming and tiring and stressful and scary and that is all before breakfast. But when you look into that sweet child's face you forget that hard part and the joy of the job is right there in front of you. I can't tell anyone how to be a good mom, just do what you feel is right for your child. Its scary and I still get scared, but you know what that's OK. Its okay to be afraid that you have no clue what to do, its okay to wonder what if I did something differently, its okay to get so worked up you want to pull your hair out. But never and I mean never regret anything you do for your child that is in the child's best interest. I stress this because I have a friend who in less than 2 years has lost 2 children, and as much as it breaks my heart I find peace knowing she did what she could for her children. Losing a child is the worst thing for a mother, but finding peace knowing you did everything you could for them is only a small part to healing. A mothers heart will never heal fully when losing a child, but it can build that scar to help you keep on.

Thank you for reading this, and I apologize if it is a little scattered, lets just call that MOMMY BRAIN!
God Bless, and hug your kids tight, show them you love them!